


Nightfall

by Summer Rain (Zeram)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama/Romance, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 05:59:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/794669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeram/pseuds/Summer%20Rain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Blair work together to face painful memories and take back the night.<br/>Sequel to Sunset.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightfall

Man, What a week. I'm still psyched from going to an Erasure concert this week. It took some of the edge off of my email being screwy. They played all of my fave songs except for one. "Rain" is my fave from their new album and I was clapping and screaming like a lunatic when they sang it :-) and then went home and continued working on Nightfall. Finally finished pt.1 so here goes...... 

feedback is much appreciated, please direct it to zeram@rocketmail.com. Thanx :-) 

This is the third part of a trilogy that began with The Dawn, continued in Sunset and now ends with Nightfall. 

Disclaimer:Blair and Jim belong to Pet Fly Productions. No money has exchanged hands for this story. This story is about two people in love who happen to be of the same gender, if that bothers you then please don't read the story. 

## Nightfall

by Summer Rain  


Blair woke, stretching. He reached over still with his eyes closed, reaching for Jim. He opened his eyes frowning when he realized Jim wasn't there. He was confused for a moment before he finally remembered why. Jim had insisted on Blair taking the bed while he stayed downstairs. 

Blair shook his head. He wished that Jim had been with him in the bed. But it was as Simon said, Jim was going to need time and would probably try to keep some distance between himself and Blair. 

Blair finally stood up from the bed. He began to walk down the stairs but then he realized he was only wearing boxers. He hesitated on the stairs, should he go back up and change? Being half dressed was no big deal, after all he and Jim had walked around like that even before they were lovers. But then again, they had become lovers and that changed everything. Though it still amazed him even now, he had seen Jim become hard just by looking at him. Better to make sure he was decent, he didn't want to make things harder for Jim than they had to be. 

He turned and walked back up the stairs and pulled an outfit together and then went to take a quick shower and get dressed. When he was done he really looked at Jim, he hadn't really done so the day before since he had focused on comforting Jim. But now he could see there were shadows under Jim's eyes and his usually clean shaven face now sported the beginnings of a beard. Blair could only wonder at Jim's state of mind over the past few days. 

He continued over to the kitchen and peeked into the fridge. There was nothing particularly appealing inside. Blair grabbed some money, deciding to go to the bakery. He wrote a note for Jim and left the loft. 

Jim felt himself being pulled out of the dream. Sunlight was making its way through the windows and caressed his face reminding him it was time to get up. There was something missing but..that's what it was. Blair's heartbeat. He scrambled awake looking around before he saw the note on the table. He walked over to pick it up, sighing in relief when he read that Blair had gone to the bakery. For a brief moment he had wondered whether Blair had decided to leave. But it wasn't fair to think that. Blair had promised to take care of Jim, it was Jim that had walked out before. He turned to take a shower before Blair came back.. 

Blair sighed , he had finally been able to make it back up to the loft. The woman at the bakery happened to be a student at the University and had kept him down there, talking to him for twenty minutes about her course work. Well at least she had heated up the muffins before he left so that they were still warm. 

He opened the door and set the muffins on the counter. He was about to call out to Jim when he saw him walking down the stairs. Jim was fully dressed, jeans, long sleeved shirt no bit of flesh revealed and body tense. All together it screamed "don't touch me". 

Blair grabbed some juice from the refrigerator as Jim set the muffins on the table. They sat opposite one another and ate in silence, Jim refusing to make eye contact with Blair. 

Finally Blair set his glass of juice down on the table. 

"So, how are you feeling Jim?" he asked experimentally. 

Jim jumped as if startled out his thoughts but answered immediately. "I'm...okay. It felt good to get some rest" he said 

Blair nodded, from the shadows under Jim's eyes he could tell sleep had been elusive for the Sentinel the three days he had been gone. 

"You weren't sleeping well before?" Blair asked trying to keep up a conversation after Jim went back into his silence. 

"No, because I couldn't..." Jim stopped surprising Blair by blushing. Blair had to fight not to let himself gape at the sight of Jim blushing. 

"You couldn't what?" he asked curiously. 

"I couldn't hear your heartbeat. I can't sleep unless I hear it" Jim admitted, smiling a somewhat crooked shy smile. 

Blair smiled a genuine smile at Jim reaching over to place his hand over Jim's for a moment. 

"Jim...there's someone who was suggested to me. A counselor who could help us...." 

"I don't like people knowing my business Chief" Jim said, cutting him off. 

Blair sighed "I know Jim but this guy is okay. He's a regular counselor, not connected to the police. Simon says that..." 

"Simon! I don't..." Jim stopped short when he saw Blair flinch away from his sudden outburst. 

Blair looked at him for a moment before jumping up and heading out to the balcony. He stood there staring silently but not really seeing what was before him. He felt rather than heard Jim come to stand behind him. 

"Jim...don't fight me on this. We need help" he paused running his hand over his hair finally looking behind him for a moment satisfied to see Jim listening to him intently. 

"Jim, I don't like this anymore than you do but we need help man. I don't want to react every time you get angry or to see the hurt in your eyes at my reaction." 

Blair could see Jim's shoulders slump forward and watched as Jim went over to lean against the side of the balcony. 

"I know we have to do this Blair I just...I just hate the feeling that it's all been taken out of my hands. 

"I know Big Guy...I know" Blair said, moving forward to place his hand tentatively on Jim's shoulder. He left it there taking it as a good sign that Jim didn't shake him off.  
  


* * *

Blair raced to his car and hopped in, he checked his watch. If he didn't bump into traffic on the way out he would be just in time to the session. 

It had been a month since Jim had come back home. The first session had been difficult. Jim had found it very hard to open up to a complete stranger but it was obvious that he was trying for Blair's sake and Blair did appreciate that. 

They had settled into a somewhat normal routine after that. They still were not sleeping together though Jim had gone back to work. After the first week Blair began going to the precinct with him. The days they worked side by side were fine it was when they retreated to their separate spaces in the night that was the problem. Blair sometimes felt that overwhelming sadness that the night wasn't their special time anymore. 

Well if truth be told, even the day time could be difficult. Blair was so used to those little touches that Jim used to give. Without them he had felt as if something was missing. He had never imagined that you could grow addicted to someone's touch but that's what it felt like, an addiction. And now he missed it. 

Blair stopped at a traffic light and glanced at his watch again. He relaxed realizing that he would be able to make it on time to the counseling session. He felt kind of apprehensive, he like Jim found it difficult to bare his soul to a stranger. He smiled to himself slightly at the irony. He knew that most people thought that he talked a lot and they thought they knew him by listening to him. But he knew that only Jim and possibly Naomi knew the real Blair. The Blair who liked to sit quietly at times and was not running around overflowing with energy. 

He could not even count the number of times that he and Jim had sat quietly on the balcony, arms wrapped around one another watching the sunset. Most people would be surprised at the stillness that was Blair during those times. Only Jim knew of that Blair. 

Just as only Blair knew of Jim's different sides. He missed the Jim from before the nightmares. The Jim who began and ended every day with an "I love you". The Jim who would take in his arms and soothe away whatever had gone wrong during the day. The Jim who had seen Blair in his stillness and had understood it as being a part of who Blair was and had joined in it, had infused it with his love until it was no longer a lonely place. 

They were making progress at least. Jim after the first week had said "I love you" to Blair when he had come down the stairs for breakfast and head kept on greeting him the same way every day after that. And just the week before, before leaving for work he had given Blair a warm hug that had left Blair's body tingling. He still had not kissed him though. When he did that, then Blair would know that they would be okay. 

He pulled into the parking lot at the counselor's office and saw as Jim stepped out of the truck glad that he was not the only one running behind. He parked alongside Jim's truck and got out. 

He smiled up at Jim in surprise when Jim hugged him and then left his arm around Blair's waist. He did not question it and let Jim keep his arm around him even as they entered the counselor's office. He tried to supress the smile that threaten to split his face as he reveled in the feel of Jim holding him. 

They greeted Dr. Bennet before sitting down. Dr. Bennett regarded them calmly, no surprise on his face on seeing them walk in arm in arm. He watched them for a moment more before continuing with the session. 

Blair sat back in the seat and watched as Jim's jaw clenched and unclenched. He felt just as frustrated as Jim did. Dr. Bennett had finally gotten to the question that they all wondered about. What was it making Jim lash out at night. 

Jim was trying to figure out what had triggered the nightmares. Blair looked around the room for a moment to stop himself from staring at Jim. He saw an old book on Dr. Bennet's shelf titled 'On the Brotherhood of Man'. It suddenly occurred to him then. 

"Excuse me Dr. Bennett, I think I know what the trigger is" Blair said. 

"Well Chief. Don't leave us hanging" Jim said leaning in towards Blair. 

Blair looked over at Dr. Bennett for a moment, he had to smile at the doctor regarding him intently. No doubt reading his body language. Well Blair was happy to note that he no longer flinched violently away from Jim, even when Jim seemed angry. 

"Think about what's changed Jim? Something different in your life, something major" Blair said wanting Jim to arrive at the answer himself. 

Jim looked confused for a moment before understanding finally lit his face. "Stephen" he whispered. 

"Excuse me?" Dr. Bennett said, questioningly. 

"My brother Stephen...I think he brought up some bad memories" Jim said turning to Dr. Bennett. 

"Can you tell me about them?" Dr. Bennett asked. 

Jim looked over at Blair. He had never told anyone but Blair about his childhood, such as it was. He wasn't sure he would be able to talk about it. 

Blair was looking at him with such love though. Blair smiled at him and nodded his head slightly to encourage him. He closed his eyes for a moment and then reached over for Blair's hand, smiling as Blair gave his hand a gentle squeeze. 

Finally he looked over at the doctor and began to talk about his childhood, drawing on Blair's strength when he felt like he was going to break down. The pressure of Blair holding his hand a reminder of Blair's promise to take care of him. 

The next few weeks brought steady progress. Blair could see Jim becoming more relaxed during the night. He had been having the nightmares less and less and as a matter of fact had not had one for the past four nights. 

They were going to sessions two days out of the week. These times were painful for Blair as well as healing. He cried for Jim almost feeling the beatings and the put downs that Jim had suffered at the hands of his father. These revelations made him respect him more and more each day. They also made him renew his promise over and over in his mind that he would take care of Jim. That he had taken this and turned it around by fighting for those who could not fight back for themselves. 

Jim had dealt with all the rage and hurt by protecting others as he had not been protected when he was young. But he had denied the feelings that welled up inside of him, there was already a crack in the dam and Stephen's presence was the final blow. 

The nightmares were Jim's way of fighting back as he had been unable to fight back when he was younger. He had gotten into the habit of having a pad and paper next to him so that when he had the nightmare he could write it down right away. It had always been the same nightmare, his father looming larger than life over him striking him and he trying to defend himself. 

This was to be their final session with Dr. Bennett. He felt that one on one sessions were no longer required but recommended that Jim enroll himself in child abuse survivor's group. 

There was only one thing missing and that was that Jim had not moved back into the bedroom. They had decided not to until Jim's nightmares went away. In the meantime they enjoyed each others company and got to know each other all over again. Despite the circumstances it had been a pleasant time for them as they reveled in their love for each other.  
  


* * *

Blair walked around the campus in a daze. Last night while he was asleep Jim had come up to the bedroom. His mind went back to the previous night.  
  


* * *

He woke up to the feel of Jim's fingers brushing over his face. He held still, afraid to move. He didn't want to startle Jim into stopping. 

There was no light in the room so he couldn't see Jim's face. The only connection to Jim was the touch on his face. The touch he would recognize anywhere. 

Jim smiled at the look on Blair's face, hearing a small sigh escape from Blair's lips. God how he had missed this. Just to be close to Blair was heaven. His hand brushed down from Blair's face down the side of his neck, noting the fluttering pulse there before his hand came to rest on Blair's shoulder. 

Blair finally spoke when he felt the hand on his shoulder tremble slightly. 

"Jim?" he said questioningly. 

He held his breath as he felt Jim lean forward and brush his lips over his, the pressure so faint he almost believed he had imagined it. The kiss as well as the touches had been so tentative almost as if he was relearning how to touch Blair. 

Blair groped in the darkness for Jim's face, finally finding it and tracing a finger over Jim's lips feeling as they curved into a smile. He brought his hand down so that it rested on Jim's chest. 

"Blair can I..." 

"Yes" 

"You haven't heard the question yet" Jim said, chuckling. 

"It doesn't matter. Whatever it is the answer is yes. Don't you know I would do anything for you?" Blair said smiling up at Jim. He didn't have to be able to see Jim to know that he was returning the smile. 

"I want to sleep up here today, to hold you in my arms. I haven't had a nightmare in a while so it should be okay. I want to dream of you tonight and not...not my father" Jim said shuddering "Is that okay with you Chief?" 

"That's more than okay Big Guy" Blair said. He felt Jim shift and settle in and then Jim was enfolding him in his arms. 

Blair smiled and snuggled in closer to Jim. He had missed this _so_ much. The feeling of being held by and holding Jim was so perfect, he was sure it couldn't get any better. 

"I love you Blair" Jim said. 

Blair gasped when he heard it. Jim had begun _and_ ended the day with an 'I love you', he hadn't done that since moving back in. 

"I love you too" Blair whispered, and when he fell asleep the smile was still on his face. 

He woke up the next morning stretching. He smiled when he felt the arm around his waist tighten, pulling him closer to the body spooned against his back. 

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere Big Guy" 

He felt Jim begin to tremble slightly behind him and began running his hand over the arm around his waist soothingly. 

"What is it Jim?" he asked as the trembling subsided. 

"I love you Blair" Jim said 

"I love you too Big Guy" Blair said smiling and turning around to face Jim. 

He saw that there were shadows under Jim's eyes and smiled sadly. 

"How did you sleep" he asked, running his fingers gently over Jim's face. 

"I slept okay" he said tensely. He relaxed when Blair began petting his chest and caressing him, trying to soothe him. He looked down to see Blair looking at him expectantly. He sighed and leaned forward kissing the top of Blair's head. 

"Okay, I didn't sleep straight through the night. I kept on waking up. I had to make sure I didn't hurt you" Jim said. 

Blair nodded he knew that's what had kept Jim awake he just wanted Jim to acknowledge it. 

"Jim you won't hurt me. You haven't had a nightmare in so long." 

"I know. I just had to be sure" he sighed "Even now he's controlling me" he said. 

"Then we take back control, Jim" Blair said forcefully. "I'm not going to let anyone take you away from me Jim and that includes someone from your memories. I love you and I'm not going to let you go" Blair said stretching up and kissing Jim forcefully so that Jim knew he meant exactly what he had said. 

Jim smiled down at him when they broke the kiss and then pulled him into his arms and Blair held on as well trying to somehow let Jim draw strength from him. 

Finally they had to get up. The real world moved on and they had to join it. As they left the loft they shared another kiss before going forth to face the day. 

Blair didn't see Jim for the rest of the day and had to wait until he got home to see him. He rushed home having stopped off to get groceries first so that he could prepare dinner. 

Blair had been patient with Jim not wanting to be intimate but tonight would be different. He sensed that when Jim had come to bed the night before they had broken through a barrier of some kind. It was through that breaking of the barrier that he hoped to help Jim and himself, to heal. 

Jim opened the door to the loft. He could smell dinner on the table, it was quiet and dark. Correction, there was light the candle light from the candles on the table. He smiled as he saw Blair pouring wine into the wine goblets. 

"Hey Big Guy" 

"Hey Blair what's up?" he asked waving at the romantic setting" 

"This is a celebration Jim" 

"Of what?" 

"This is the night we will be healed" Blair said seriously, looking directly at Jim. 

Jim shuddered at the look in his eyes. He went to the bathroom to clean up and came back out, sitting opposite Blair. They ate dinner in a comfortable silence. Their eyes remained locked on one another until they finished the meal. 

When they were done Jim washed the dishes while Blair dried them smiling at the domestic scene, one of the little things that they had missed. 

Finally Blair turned to Jim to lay a hand on his chest. 

"Jim, I just want to say that I love you and no matter what happens in our lives I will stand by you. I'm in this for the long haul and that means taking the bad along with the good" he said solemnly. 

"I-I don't know what I did to deserve you Chief but I'm so glad your with me. I love you so much" he said reaching out to brush Blair's curls tenderly. 

Blair smiled and reached for Jim's hand and walked with him towards the stairs. When they reached the foot of the stairs Blair stopped and turned to Jim hugging him tightly before they began walking up the stairs. 

When they reached the top Blair walked Jim over to the bed and sat him down. He took off his clothes slowly and Jim kept his eyes fixed on him. When he was undressed he let Jim gaze at him for a moment before moving to undress him as well. 

Jim watched as Blair leaned towards him. It was a beautiful vision. Blair had set up candles in the room earlier and the glow from the candles emphasized there sacred space. Blair was right this was the night they would be healed. They would take back the night, the sanctity of the loft. What had always been their special space. Blair had always said he felt safe here in Jim's arms, that had been taken from them but now that they understood why they could conquer it and make this space their own again. 

Blair pulled Jim's shirt over his head and then leaned forward flicking his tongue over one nipple smiling at the small moan that escaped from Jim's mouth. He moved back up to kiss that same mouth darting his tongue in quickly when Jim opened his mouth. 

He reached for Jim's pants and unbuttoned them as well waiting for a moment as Jim kicked off his shoes. They moved slowly, there was no rush. This was not about passion although it was certainly there. This was about love, about healing. 

Finally all Jim had left were his boxers. Jim lifted up slightly to let Blair pull them off, gasping as Blair kissed the tip of his penis when he bent down. When Blair finally straightened he pulled Blair closer to him and leaned forward tongue reaching out to flick Blair's nipple and then moved to the other one. He teased them both until they were as hard as pebbles. He could see Blair's mouth open, head thrown back. Jim's hands on his hips the only thing keeping him from falling backwards. 

Jim began to lick his way across Blair's chest smiling at the soft hair on Blair's chest that tickled his face as he passed. He moved further down licking as he went along. Finally he got to Blair's erection. He nuzzled into Blair's pubic hair, smelling the musky scent of arousal, of Blair's essence. 

Blair straightened up when he felt Jim nuzzle against him. "No" he said, he pulled away from Jim's grasp pushed Jim back onto the bed. "This is for you Big Guy, let me take care of you" he said. 

Jim watched as Blair climbed onto the bed next to him and even though he knew what was coming he still gave a shout of surprise when Blair leaned forward and deep throated him. The feel was incredible, the sensations indescribable. It had been so long barely any time passed before Jim arched up and came with a wanton shout spilling his seed into Blair's mouth. Blair swallowed it all greedily, tasting what had been denied him for too long. Finally when Jim had finished he pulled and reached up to hold and caress Jim as Jim trembled against him. 

Finally the trembling subsided but was replaced by a trembling of a different kind. Jim felt Blair's erection against his side and the caresses over him and smiled up at Blair. He moved up slightly so that his face was on level with Blair and he leaned forward and kissed him slowly, tenderly his own hand moving to brush lightly over Blair's side. He smiled when Blair began moaning into his mouth and then moved back. 

He looked into Blair's eyes which were clouded over with desire and love. He reached forward to brush a strand of hair back from Blair's face. 

"You always take care of me now it's my turn. Okay, baby?" 

Blair nodded and watched as Jim reached over to the bottle of lube that Blair had set on the nightstand earlier. He watched as Jim opened the bottle and took some of the gel onto his fingertips and reached over to coat Blair's erection. Jim watched the expressions passing over Blair's face and stopped when he saw that Blair was getting too close to the edge. He didn't want Blair to come like this he wanted him inside of him, this was his gift to Blair. 

Blair sat up when Jim stopped and took the lube from his hand. Jim leaned forward and gave him a kiss before kneeling on the bed, presenting a well muscled back to Blair. Blair could not resist leaning over and caressing that back and placing a kiss in the small of Jim's back. 

He knelt behind Jim and moved coated a finger inserting it inside of Jim, feeling Jim tremble and feeling his own cock jump at the tightness and the anticipation of it. His other hand moved to caress Jim's back as he inserted another finger and then finally he was up to three fingers. Jim was breathing heavier now and was pushing back against the fingers trying to get them in deeper. 

Jim sighed as Blair removed his fingers but did not have to wait long before he felt Blair move closer and begin to enter him. He could feel Blair moving slowly and the sensation of being stretched as Blair moved deeper inside of him. A feeling of slight discomfort washed over him as he was stretched, he had not done this in so long but that was soon replaced by the pleasure that began to overtake him. Finally Blair was all the way in. 

They rested for a moment trying to calm down from the whirling emotions and feelings but finally Blair began to move. It was a slow thrusting and Jim reveled in the sensation of being filled with Blair of holding Blair. He had thought he was giving Blair a gift but Blair was giving one as well. He felt himself spiralling as he felt the sensations overtake him, he was barely aware of Blair's hand coming around him to grasp his erection and pumping it in time to his thrusts. 

Blair thrust against him hard but gentle, each thrust accompanied by an "I love you". Blair cried out at the same time Jim did, Jim's seed spilled over his hands and he tightened around Blair and Blair to tumble over that edge. Blair collapsed onto Jim's back catching his breath before pulling out of Jim and rolling over to the side. 

He pulled Jim into his arms placing a kiss on his brow. 

"Blair..thank you. I love you" Jim said looking up at him. 

"I love you too Jim. Always" Blair said as Jim snuggled against him. 

"No more bad dreams, tonight I'll only dream of you" Blair heard Jim whisper and place a kiss on his chest. He smiled and held Jim until he felt Jim relax and fall asleep. 

He looked around the room smiling. There was love in the room now, not fear. This was their sacred space once again. He felt Jim move against him and leaned forward to kiss him lightly. 

"Sleep now, your safe in my arms" he whispered as he too followed Jim into peaceful sleep, where the only dreams were of each other.  
  


* * *

Just so y'all know what I was thinking of while writing this and Sunset, here is a song that was never far from my mind. The song is called "Leave it to Me" and belongs to The Jets. 

> __  
> Say goodnight and sleep tight  
>  leave it to me to make your world alright  
>  Put it on me to turn things 'round  
>  and make what's lost be found  
>  your dreams were meant to be
> 
> Leave it to me, leave it to me my love  
>  leave it to me, you can believe my love  
>  give in your love, I'll give you my guarantee  
>  whatever might be leave it to me, leave it to me
> 
> Lay yourself down, find some sleep  
>  settle within my arms their safe and deep  
>  I'll take you through this night 'til day  
>  when things will go our way  
>  so close your eyes and see
> 
> Leave it to me, leave it me my love  
>  leave it to me, you can believe my love  
>  give in your love, I'll give you my guarantee  
>  whatever might be leave it to me, leave it me

* * *

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